i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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