i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
