the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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