I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
