This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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