wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
We talked him into tasing himself.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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