There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
