He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
