Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
