we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
