i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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