READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
