I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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