im drinking this country out of the recession.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
