Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
