Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
