how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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