Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
That reminds me...we need to get swords
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize