I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
