Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
