Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
