Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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