The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
