New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
