I hate all girls vehemently.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
The adults are the big ones right?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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