They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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