she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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