he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
