PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
