Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
