His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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