How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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