I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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