dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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