I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Did we literally take a cab across the street
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
