Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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