In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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