I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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