Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize