um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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