whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
one might say we're banned from that church
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
