I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
