He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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