1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
