Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize