Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
