My nipple is on Facebook.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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