Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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