i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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