Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
