naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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