Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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