i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
