yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
