this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize
