i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
