Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
