belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
