He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I had to cum in my sink.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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