Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
