saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
