I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
