I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
