just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
