me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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